Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for yourself is leave before the life gets sucked out of you...

Hey beautiful souls,

I saw something this morning that stopped me in my tracks and had me nodding so hard I probably looked like one of those bobblehead dolls. Tabitha Brown shared the most profound lesson from her banana tree, and honey, my mind was 🤯.

She showed how bananas that had grown to their full potential but weren't removed from the tree started dying. The life was literally being sucked out of them because they had outgrown their environment but stayed anyway.

And then she said it: "Baby, you have outgrown that environment, that job, that relationship, that town, that city, that neighborhood, but because you have chosen to stay, you feel like you're dying inside."

Y'all. I felt that in my SOUL.

When Your Spirit Starts Withering

Have you ever felt that? That slow drain, that gradual dimming of your light? That feeling like you're dying a little bit every day, but you can't quite put your finger on why?

Maybe it's that job where you've mastered everything they could teach you, but you're still showing up every day feeling empty. Maybe it's that relationship where you've grown into someone new, but they keep trying to keep you in the box of who you used to be. Maybe it's that environment where your dreams feel too big, too bold, too "much" for the space you're in.

The thing is, growth isn't comfortable. And sometimes the very places that once nurtured us become the places that start suffocating us. Not because they're bad places, but because we've evolved beyond what they can hold.

The Fear of Leaving What's Familiar

But here's what I know about us humans: we'd rather stay in familiar discomfort than step into unfamiliar possibility. We'd rather slowly wither where we are than risk the uncertainty of where we could be.

I get it. Trust me, I get it.

Leaving requires courage. It requires faith. It requires believing that there's something better waiting for you, even when you can't see it yet. And when you've been hurt, when you've lost people you love, when you've had your world turned upside down, sometimes staying feels safer, even when it's slowly killing your spirit.

But baby, what if staying in that space that no longer serves you is actually the riskiest thing you could do?

The Cost of Staying Too Long

When those bananas stayed on the tree past their time, they didn't just stay the same. They started dying. The very environment that had grown them to maturity was now draining the life out of them.

Maybe you've noticed that your creativity has dried up in that job that once challenged you. Maybe your joy has been slowly leaking out in that relationship that once filled you up. Maybe your dreams have been getting smaller and smaller in that environment that once felt like home.

That's not you failing. That's you outgrowing your container.

Permission to Outgrow Your Environment

Here's your permission slip, beautiful: You are allowed to outgrow places, people, and situations. You are allowed to want more. You are allowed to need different. You are allowed to evolve beyond what others expect from you.

▪︎ Growth isn't betrayal. Changing isn't abandonment. Wanting something different isn't ungrateful.

▪︎ You are not a tree. You don't have to stay rooted in soil that no longer nourishes you.

Recognizing When It's Time to Go

So how do you know when you've outgrown your environment? Here are some signs that might resonate:

▪︎ You feel drained more often than you feel energized

▪︎ Your dreams feel impossible in your current space

▪︎ You find yourself dimming your light to fit in

▪︎ You're constantly explaining or defending your growth

▪︎ You feel like you're pretending to be a smaller version of yourself

The conversations, opportunities, and energy around you feel stagnant...

▪︎ You daydream about "what if" more than you engage with "what is"

The Courage to Harvest Yourself

Just like those bananas needed to be picked at their peak, sometimes we need to harvest ourselves from environments that have served their purpose in our lives.

This doesn't mean burning bridges or leaving with anger. It means recognizing when you've reached your full potential in a space and having the wisdom to transition before the life starts getting sucked out of you.

Maybe it's time to have that conversation about the job that no longer challenges you. Maybe it's time to set new boundaries in that relationship that keeps trying to shrink you. Maybe it's time to research that move you've been dreaming about. Maybe it's time to invest in that business idea that keeps calling your name.

Maybe it's time to stop apologizing for your growth and start celebrating it.

Growing Toward What Feeds You

Here's what I'm learning: when you remove yourself from environments that no longer serve you, you create space for environments that do. When you stop forcing yourself to fit in spaces that have become too small, you open yourself up to spaces that can hold all of who you're becoming.

My daughter and I have been talking about plants lately (she's in her nature phase, and honestly, I'm here for it). We learned that sometimes you have to transplant a plant not because the old pot is bad, but because the plant has grown too big for it. If you don't transplant it, the roots get bound up and the plant stops thriving.

Same energy, different application.

Your Next Season is Waiting

Sweet soul, if you're reading this and feeling that slow drain, that gradual dimming, that sense that you're dying a little bit inside, please hear me: it might not be depression (though definitely talk to someone if you think it might be). It might just be that you've outgrown your current environment and your spirit is calling you toward your next season.

Your job is not to stay small to make others comfortable. Your job is not to dim your light so others don't feel overshadowed. Your job is not to remain in spaces that no longer nourish you just because they once did.

Your job is to honor your growth, trust your evolution, and have the courage to transplant yourself into soil that can support who you're becoming.

The life you're meant to live is waiting for you. But you might have to leave where you are to get to where you're going.

Trust the Process

Change is scary. Growth is uncomfortable. Leaving what's familiar feels risky.

But you know what's even scarier? Looking back five years from now and realizing you stayed so long in a place that couldn't hold you that you forgot who you were becoming.

You know what's even more uncomfortable? The slow suffocation of your spirit in an environment that no longer feeds it.

You know what's even riskier? Staying somewhere that's slowly killing your dreams, your joy, your sense of possibility.

A Love Letter to Your Brave Heart

To the part of you that knows you've outgrown where you are: I see you. I honor your courage. I celebrate your growth.

To the part of you that's scared to leave: I understand. Change is hard, especially when you've been hurt before. But staying in a place that no longer serves you isn't protecting you. It's limiting you.

To the part of you that feels guilty for wanting more: You're not ungrateful. You're not selfish. You're human. And humans are meant to grow.

Trust yourself. Trust your growth. Trust that there are environments, people, and opportunities out there that can hold all of who you're becoming.

You deserve to be planted in soil that helps you flourish, not just survive.

The Time is Now

Sweet friend, if this message is resonating with your spirit, maybe it's time to stop ignoring that inner voice that's been whispering (or maybe shouting) that you've outgrown your current space.

Maybe it's time to stop making excuses for why you can't leave and start making plans for how you can.

Maybe it's time to stop letting the life get sucked out of you and start moving toward what feeds your soul.

You were not meant to wither, beautiful. You were meant to flourish.

And sometimes, flourishing requires the courage to transplant yourself.

The banana tree taught us well: when you've reached your full potential in a space, it's time to harvest yourself and plant yourself somewhere new.

Your next season is waiting. Your growth is calling. Your spirit is ready.

All that's left is for you to trust yourself enough to make the move.

With love and belief in your brave heart,

ItsTechNicole 🦩

P.S. My daughter wants me to tell you that plants are happier when they have room to grow. And honestly? So are people. 🌱

Ready to dive deeper into trusting your growth and making brave moves? I recommend "Untamed" by Glennon Doyle, which beautifully explores what it means to stop living according to others' expectations and start living according to your own inner knowing. (Affiliate link)

Check out the video I mentioned here: 

Want more conversations about growth, change, and following your inner voice? Check out my podcast where we explore what it means to live authentically, even when it's scary.

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